It all started with the Titanic. At least that’s as far back as I can remember. When girls learnt what the now over used and abused term, ‘true love’ meant.
We all saw it, didn’t we? I was only a wee tot when I watched that movie. I am not ashamed to say I cried. Ok, just a bit. A single tear or so. (Beats chest, flexes muscles) Moving on, why did Jack save Rose instead of himself? Why did he give away his life so willingly? Love, was why, I was told. It was love. Remember in the movie, too, they got on like a house on fire. They ran into each other, and then knees went weak, hearts raced, some body parts got engorged…Oh, my I think that’s another movie. Anyway, you get the idea. True Love. True Love, True Love. What is true love?
True love is fantasy. Nothing but fairy tales. Don’t get me wrong, many of us do fall in love and a lucky few do live happy ever after but it is never so simple. However, the mass media, movie industry, books et al would have us believe the contrary, that by nothing but a chance meeting, a wayward kiss, an unlikely situation we can be joined with our better halves, swept into the whirlwinds of titillating romance, shot by the arrow of love, blessed by the universe to live a long life of (perhaps) marital bliss.
Ladies (and a few unfortunate gentlemen), you have been misled!!! I will now proceed to mention the culprits that have put the wool over your eyes and have for too long entrapped you in a world, not of reality.
Movies, of the Romance, Tragedy variety.
The Titanic, again. It was such a good movie, really. I mean a beautiful love story. Many a lady wished they were Rose for a minute, notwithstanding the fact Jack died. However, it is not realistic. Yes, some people do fall fast and furiously in love, in a space of days, weeks, but do they, so much so, that they would be willing to give their life for the other? Doesn’t this count as a suicide of sorts, even? Can a vicar help me out here?
The Notebook, reportedly another tear-jerker. Man and woman fall in love during one hot, sweltering summer. Woman leaves town, after some time, to be with another man, her parents’ choice. Man stays back in local town (the back end of nowhere) brooding, moody, longing for times past, for about half a decade. Woman then comes back and they take off where they left off. Some of you probably just sighed wishfully at that. The reality however is… AIN’T NOBODY GOT TIME FOR THAT!!! No man will wait around in the back end of some town on the off chance that his childhood love will remember him and come back or snap out of her senses. No man will wait for a girl to finish with another relationship to jump in one with her. Why wasn’t he your first choice in the first instance?
These are overwhelmingly popular with the female folk from grown women to young girls, teenagers (at least, the ones who still read and don’t spend the entire day liking Trey Song’s pictures on Instagram) on the cusp of being legal, hatching from the egg of puberty. In the typical romance novel, the lady is to be waited on at every turn. She will resist the advances of the leading man, but then her knees would quake, she would moisten in certain areas and the finally give in. This is after perhaps she has taken the man to hell and back but he will jump through every hoop for about 500 pages of the novel until she finally capitulates.
In reality, yes, a woman can be chased, wooed, feted, and pampered, albeit with moderation. You will never meet a man who is willing to play the hard-to-get game with the fairer sex for months on end without sizeable breakthrough. You will not find a man who you will abuse emotionally and perhaps even physically and would still be waiting by the phone for you to call. As it is, the ratio of women to men is uneven. There are more hens, than there are cocks, no pun intended. Do the math.
Sex, relationship magazines, dating sites and the like have promised you, sworn to you, that your knight in shining armour is on his way. They have assured you that there are some tips you must follow to make sure you find him/her faster. They have proffered studies, research undertaken on why any gentleman has yet to put a ring on it, or why you have yet to find the bone of your bone. You have so far, lapped it all up. I wouldn’t want to play the blind cynic and say none of these are actually true but I daresay no book, article, blog post can teach you how to find, keep and sustain a partner till our Lord, Jesus Christ, comes back a second time. Not a single one!
My name is Ayodeji Rotinwa and I make no apologies.