The Bomb That Will Unite Nigeria

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It is not easy being the President of this Country. A Nation of over 170 million people. One hundred and seventy million! All clamouring to have their needs met. The Ghanaians have it easy…

Everyday I sit here, in this large office trying to find a way to satisfy all of them, all 170 million, or most of them anyway.  Anything to stop the barrage of curses hurled at myself and my family daily. Sometimes I can almost feel them, like little projectiles hurtling through the atmosphere at break neck speed.

I first came into this office by the unfortunate hands of good fortune, a faulty kidney and the accident of my name. Then I influenced fate to ensure that I came back. I shouldn’t have. I have not known peace since I stood before my nation and said that oath. I have not slept more than 4 hours in a single night. Heavy lies the head that wears the Crown, or in this case, the hat.

But how do you cater to all these people? How do you unite a nation of such diverse interests and needs? The rich support my long term projects, the poor want short term benefits and vice versa. If we even attempt to mandate the masses to go along with an initially painful but ultimately beneficial course of action, the outcry begins.

I got myself a mouthpiece at a point. One of them, or so I thought. He had been at the forefront of literary activism for a while. They knew him, the ones that read atleast. They would respect him, I thought. When he explained the policies, they would understand. They didn’t. Now he’s almost as hated as I am, considered by many to be a traitor. His pen must be heavy.

It doesn’t help that the few years I have spent here have been plagued with an insecurity that further divided the polity. Insecurity and that errant show off governor. He acts so efficient he makes every other administrator including myself look bad. Its unconscionable.

I love my people and I know what needs to be done. I will do it. In fact, I already have. When the Chief of Defence Staff called me precisely 23:50 to report that they had finally apprehended the mastermind behind the Islamist terror group and that he had boasted about a large explosive device in the state of that show off governor. An explosive device scheduled to go off in 24hours. 24hours from yesterday.

“We have to do something” he said, “Sir, my instincts tell me he wasn’t bluffing, we need to call Raji, we need to begin a search, to evacuate or people will die!”

People will die, people die everyday, but think about what could happen. A disaster that large will kill the fight in the people. The devastation. It is in the midst of travail that they will seek a leader, as one. They will unite. There would no longer be 170 million voices, but one. One voice.

In our joy at lifting the African trophy, we were one nation, one people, one voice. If joy is such a powerful binding force, imagine what sorrow will do. My people, as one will seek a leader. Someone to avenge them, to give them satisfaction.

I will be that leader, when I inform them that we have acted swiftly and apprehended the brain behind it all. When I order his public execution.  I will satisfy them and they will love me for it. It is worth the price.

All I had to do was wait 3 days. One for the explosive, Two for the dust to clear. Since that call ended, I have watched my wristwatch, the wall clocks that dot the Villa walls, the digital one on my desktop computer. I have watched every clock I could see for the last 23hrs and 53 minutes.

Its 7 minutes to the end of the first day, about 2 minutes before we know if the fundamentalist was bluffing. I’m sitting in the office with my head in my hands. At any moment Reuben will walk through that door screaming about the disaster and the need for us to make a statement. He’ll want to write one, I’ve already done that.

When the time comes, I will place this heavy hat on my head and walk out of the office to face a bank of cameras and recorders hastily assembled to address a nation in tears, One nation not 170 million people.

I will begin as I always do, “My Fellow Nigerians …”

 

PLEASE NOTE: In this story, the author has used real-life events/people to paint a fictional picture.



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Oladimeji Ojo

There are 15 comments. Add yours

  1. 26th February 2013 | nevy says: Reply
    Jesu!! No bombs plz... #scary-deep. I dnt imagine d "man in d hat" has d capacity for such thoughts.. ThankGod
  2. 26th February 2013 | achalugo says: Reply
    The writer has done well. A thought provoking fiction, i realise with each passing day that i might not like the current state of the country,i might not agree with half the things (or more) that the president does, i may think he is rather silly at addressing national issues, i may not understand why there is a photo of him kneeling in front of a pastor available for the general public, but in all of this...uneasy must lie the head with that popular black hat.
  3. 26th February 2013 | Rolayo says: Reply
    Who are you? How come I've never heard or read from you before? I wish we could all see like this and instead of hurling curses, stop for a minute and say a prayer for those in authority over us.
    • 27th February 2013 | Ojo Oladimeji says: Reply
      My name is Oladimeji Ojo '@iStalkWriters'. I'm glad you enjoyed the piece. You can find more of my work here The Urbane Mix. :)
    • 27th February 2013 | Shade says: Reply
      Oh, we see like this sometimes. But not so much recently. The only prayers we should be saying for this particular national disgrace are prayers of deliverance from the evil forces that apparently have his brain buried somewhere deep and far away...
  4. 26th February 2013 | Ebun says: Reply
    Wow Dimeji.This is really deep.
  5. 27th February 2013 | aie says: Reply
    Love every bit of it. Nicely put together. Would like to see more of such talented works. Thumbs up!
  6. 27th February 2013 | disfemisef says: Reply
    I like the narrative. If it wasn't a true story, I'd have lauded the evil, calculated nature of the president. Sadly, I can't put such a tactic past him or his cohorts. Big ups to you the author! P.s. It'll be fun working together
  7. 27th February 2013 | disfemisef says: Reply
    Sent a nicely worded response but then it gets wiped out by the wicked internet. So... Everything I said in my last comment!
  8. 27th February 2013 | Abikoye Oluwatoyosi says: Reply
    Dimeji, the head that wears the hat, 170 million people, a nation, the media and just one speech. DMJ, this is good, really good. Till I see you at CDS. ;)
  9. 27th February 2013 | damola says: Reply
    great mind you have...but i'm sure the man with the crown, the hat i mean, does not have the heart to bear the brunt of the heartless mind.
  10. 27th February 2013 | damola says: Reply
    great mind you have there...but I'm pretty sure the man with the crown, oh sorry the hat, does not have the heart to bear the brunt of the heartless mind.
  11. 1st March 2013 | ijebuPrincess says: Reply
    That bomb must never go off! Not in Nigeria. I don't think we can rise from the ashes afterwards. Good piece still!
  12. 5th March 2013 | Ayodeji Rotinwa says: Reply
    While I think our President doesn't have the mental nor psychological capacity to think up such a heinous plan, there are others that will do it in a heartbeat (*cough* Obasanjo) I firmly believe this CAN happen in Nigeria and that in itself says something of the type of 'leaders' we have.
    • 15th March 2013 | Shade says: Reply
      Well, thank God for the president's IQ, then...

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